Greatness

Bill Hicks, I love the guy, have done since 92 at school when he opened my eyes to the world

My blog sucks, so I leave it to the great man

"I finally got my own TV show coming out next fall on CBS. . . . it's a half-hour weekly show that I will host, entitled "Let's Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus." So y'all be tuning in? Cool, cool. Cool, it's a fairly self-explanatory plot, uh . . . Each week we let the hounds of Hell loose and we chase that jar-head, no-talent, cracker asshole all over the globe . . . till I finally catch that fruity little ponytail of his in the back . . . and we'll be back in '95 with "Let's Hunt and Kill Michael Bolton." So. Thank you very much. I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious and making us pay a higher psychic price than we imagine. In fact, that's how I pitched it to the networks exactly, I said . . . "Uh, I'd like to do a show where I rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious,"
and the guy at CBS said, "Will there be titty?" And I said, "Sure, I don't know, sure." Boom! A check falls in my lap and -- I'm a producer!"



"People suck and that's my contention. I can prove it on scratch paper and a pen. Give me a fucking Etch-A-Sketch, I'll do it in three minutes to prove the fact, the factorum, I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this backslapping, "aren't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. OK? That's all we are."

I am your herder. Kneel in front of me. . . . Everyone good? Welcome to my show. Hey, ha ha! "Moo. Moo." Coupla cows are getting arrogant out there. "Moo. Moo." Come on, Shep. Get that one cow who's leaving the pack. Arf! "Moo." Go back to the herd, moron. OK? I have this weirdest style, don't I? I . . . ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Bill, you do a little kind of joke that's kind of funny, then you start telling us you hate us and you dig a fucking hole." Where's Bill going? He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style. . . . I'm ranting under the stars with my herd. "Gee Bill, are you talkin' to us?" I'm talking metaphorically about America, all right? Not y'all. I give y'all more credit. I assume that you're enjoying this, or if not at least emotionally involved, which is important. Even if it's anger. Really. It's OK, man. That's what this is all about, man. It's supposed to be a fucking catharsis, man, you know? It's supposed to be release from the fucking daily grind. I wish it worked for me. Ha ha ha! I'm killing me. Join me.

for starters